As summer starts to heat up it’s time to think about camping. We’ve covered places to camp, popular camping hacks and even tips for camping with a first timer. But now comes the all-important list of what absolutely not to do on a camping trip, most importantly so you don’t burn the forest down, but also so you aren’t embarrassed around your buddies.
Brought to us by Matt Branham with our partners at Mandatory.com, here are 10 things not to do on your next camping trip to avoid being a nube:
Arriving After Sunset
It takes a bit of time to set up shop. You may not think so, given your ability to grocery shop and pack for a trip in an impressively short span of time, but camping is a whole other animal. Not only does it take preparedness and a cool head, but it’s also a time-consuming yet fun hobby. Between finding your spot, hitting your mark, unloading supplies, assembling sleeping quarters, failing miserably, arguing with anyone in shouting distance, breaking a few key pieces out of spite, makeshifting a MacGyver-style tent and preparing a couple meals, you’re going to need all the time you can get. And you don’t want to do it in the dark.
Dressing Like A Hippie Gypsy
It pays to have a sense of summer style, but not really when it comes to camping. Walking barefoot and going all “Blue Lagoon” isn’t going to pay off in the end. We’re saying wear some socks for crying out loud. Ticks, mosquitoes and cold nights can get the best of you, not to mention blisters, if you go without socks while hiking. Even when you think you know Mother Nature’s forecast, remember she gets PMS with the best of them. Be prepared for anything, but don’t try to look cool when it comes to staying warm and protecting yourself.
Not Protecting Your Meat
We’re referring to actual meat products here, anything that might seem attractive to, say, a ginormous grizzly bear. Store it out of reach a ways from your campsite; maybe set up markers in case it’s hard to find. But don’t put yourself in harm’s way. Whenever you make assumptions about camping, that’s when you’re likely to make a mistake. To be a successful camper, you actually have to use common sense here and there.
Being A Slob
No one can see what a mess you’re making, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t clean up after yourself. Minimize your camping footprint and be a model citizen no matter who’s watching, and that should extend past camping. Basically, don’t be an eco-a-hole. Clean up your garbage, tidy your space when you go and, for Heaven’s sake, pick up your dog crap. Leave the place better than when you found it for the next people. This is how the camping world works, sport.
Being A Wimp
There’s nothing less becoming of a man in the wilderness than when he acts like a total pansy. Especially in the case of bears, you’re going to want to be a much bigger version of yourself than usual, but also when it comes to taking the initiative. You think Leo would have survived a bear attack if he had hesitated all day? (Not sure if that makes sense, but stay with me.) Get your act together and do some manly shit. Start a fire without looking it up on your phone, make some decisions for once in your life, then watch your fellow campers take notes while you roast some weenies.
Trusting The Sun
Camping, by definition, is almost the worst time to work on your tan. There’s nothing worse than trying to get a good night’s sleep in an already less cozy place than your bed than when you’re covered in sunburn. Sunscreen and smart clothing are the way to go. Don’t believe us? Try hiking or simply enjoying yourself when you look redder than your dad that one time he took off his shirt all day at the start of your family vacation.
Forgetting The Essentials
First aid kit, sizable cooler, clean drinking water, libations, flashlights (plural, with batteries); these are just a few of the must-have things to bring. Leave the cologne at home. What, are you trying to impress the animals? You’re going to attract bugs. Speaking of which, you’ll need insect repellent, a pot or pan for cooking, comfortable sleeping supplies, a can opener and, yes of course, a corkscrew. There’s nothing worse than being sleepless with bug bites in the middle of a hot day with no wine.
Assuming You’re An Expert
Chances are you’re going to want to eat, and if you’re camping long enough that you’ll need a decent cooked meal, you’ll want a fire. Despite what you’ve seen in the movies, it can be a bit tricky making one out of Mother Nature’s short and curlies, so bring charcoal, preferably the kind with the lighter fluid attached (and a lighter). Your matches are only classy when there’s not a heavy wind assaulting your camping game.
Packing Like A Girl Would For A Week Vacation
Not to be rude, but come on ladies, it’s true: You’re heavy packers. The space allotted in the car should be designated for supplies for sleeping, lounging, eating and staying safe, but also for having fun. You’re not going to need umpteen pairs of shoes, a number of wardrobe choices or all your beauty supplies. You need a basic uniform whose goals are to protect, warm or allow for comfortable movements. There’s nobody in heels climbing any large rocks. And don’t bring the dog if you’re not supposed to. Aside from taking up a lot of extra room, there might be a good reason dogs aren’t welcome where you’re going. If they are allowed, by all means, take them and have a good, safe time. Maybe leave the wife home instead.
Getting Lost
Bring a compass, batteries, phone chargers, maps, and even walkie-talkies if you have them. There’s nothing worse than being someplace you don’t know without cell reception and no clues as to where to go while nightfall rolls quickly around. Learn how to use a compass, whether it’s old school or new (your phone) school. Study the sun and understand your surroundings. Take a camping guide if you need to, but don’t go it alone. But if you do fly solo, let people know where you’re going. You can leave a trail of itineraries behind, maybe even a Reese’s Pieces trail, but stick to the beaten path if you’re new to camping. Oh, and read the damn signs. Only then will you sleep comfortably. Am I the only one who saw “127 Hours” here?
20 Camping Hacks
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Use a tarp
One of the heaviest items in any pack is a tent. When you want to cut back, switch to only a tarp. You can drape it over an A-frame and tie it down with stakes. If those eyelets tear through you can always strap on a line using a “monkey fist.” Just wrap the tarp corner around a small rock and tie that off instead. Then tie the loose end to a stake.
Photo credit: Flickr CC
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Cook over a fire
Dealing with liquid fuel cook stoves can be a hassle and while propane fueled stoves are great, that’s just one more thing you have to carry. Skip the camp stove altogether and rely solely on the abundant resources around you. Make a fire. But don’t just cook over any fire. By digging a hole and then constructing a small tunnel for air flow, you can have a great backcountry camp stove that works every time.
Photo credit: Rich Wright
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Make an alcohol stove out of a beer can
We’ve all seen the range of fancy camp stoves on the market. But what you might not realize is that you can create a simple camp stove that burns as hot and efficient as an expensive version you might find at REI with just a beer can. Here is a link to a video on how to make one. It just takes some careful cutting and a steady hand. But be warned, you should only use a small amount of fuel and be careful that you do not tip this over as it can start a fire that spreads quickly.
Photo credit: Flickr CC
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Baby powder your feet
Wet feet are the enemy of every hiker. Bit when you have to cross a stream, sometimes it’s just unavoidable. For a great way to keep your feet dry or to dry them off quicker once they get wet, carry a small amount of baby powder that you can sprinkle right on those little piggies.
Photo credit: Flickr CC
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Use Altoids containers
Let’s face it, most of us buy Altoids breath mints not so much for the mint, though they are delicious, but for the ready-made tin that comes with it. These tiny containers can be used to carry anything, but the most popular applications include first aid kits, fire starter and turning them into a makeshift camp light by rolling up cardboard soaked in wax that can then be lit.
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Use Tic-Tac containers
A Tic-Tac container is another great receptacle that can be reused in the backcountry for any number of purposes. You can store fishing lures, spices or sugar for example.
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Coffee cans make great TP holders
At hunting camps, wet toilet paper and the infiltration of rats and mice can be an issue. A great way to avoid either of these fates for your coveted TP is to enclose the roll in a plastic Folgers coffee container. You can cut a slit down the side for the paper to scroll out and tie it up with a string from the lid.
Photo credit: Flickr CC
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Bundle coffee grounds in filters
For many people, they just can’t live without their morning cup of Joe. In the backcountry, coffee can be replaced with tea, instant grounds or even pine needles. But no true coffee drinker can really deal with replacements. For an easy way to have fresh coffee on the go just wrap a tablespoon of grounds in a coffee filter and tie that off with fishing line or a piece of string and dunk it into your cup for instant java.
Lilittas1 | Dreamstime.com - Metal Touristic Tea Cup In Woman Hands Outdoor Photo
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Crescent rolls on a stick
Who doesn’t like crescent rolls? An easy addition to any meal, you can carry a can of crescent rolls and wrap them around a stick. Hold it over the fire for some quick and easy buttery dinner rolls. Or you can also wrap them around a hotdog and then on the stick for added goodness.
Photo credit: Flickr CC
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Roast cinnamon rolls in an orange
Cinnamon rolls are another pastry that comes in a can. What a great way to start the morning? For an orange flavored Cinnabon and a great way to cook them easily, place the uncooked dough on an orange slice and set that on a hot bed of coals or rock.
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Use a belt and hooks to hang things
Keeping things organized is an important way for a trip to remain fun rather than frustrating. A great way to organize your things like pots, pans, lights and virtually anything that can hang is by using a belt around a tree. Wrap the belt around the tree and hang simply hang hooks.
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Burn sage to keep mosquitoes away
Mosquitoes can be a huge nuissance in the woods. Sometimes it’s a good idea to revert to the ancient ways of repelling insects such as sage. Bring along a sprig of sage to throw on the fire to keep those pesky mosquitoes away.
Photo credit: Flickr CC
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Johnson's baby creamy oil can repel mosquitoes
Keeping mosquitoes off your skin while you’re hiking and away from the fire is another trick altogether. Many people can’t stand the smell of deet and other repellents. And after a day of lathering that it can leave your skin greasy and uncomfortable. A great alternative is Johnson’s Baby Creamy Oil with Aloe & Vitamin E.
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Use cotton balls and liquid soap to remove ticks
Ticks are one of the worst enemies in the woods. They often carry lyme disease, and if they are not removed within 24 hours that lyme disease can transmit into your blood. It’s always important to check for ticks. But what to do if you find one? Attempting to burn or smoke them out is a bad idea and can lead to the tick burrowing further into your skin. Instead, try soaking cotton balls in liquid dish soap and pressing that to the tick. In a few minutes it should stop chewing and likely back out of its endeavor.
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Turn an acorn into a whistle
When you’re lost in the woods or trying to dissuade a wild animal from getting any closer, a whistle is a great thing to use. Every hiker should carry one. But let’s say you forgot it, or your pack got washed down river. Not to fret, there are always acorns. It takes some practice, though, so here’s the technical details.
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An easy hand-washing station
This one’s more for car camping then backcountry. If you need a way to easily wash your hands and don’t want to waste drinking water, you can use an old laundry detergent jug as a hand washing station. And even if you don’t get all the detergent out, you can still use it to wash your hands. Fasten a roll of paper towels to the top to complete the deal.
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Make a lantern out of a water jug
To make a quick lantern, stick a head lamp or glow stick into a plastic water bottle. This you can hang like a lantern for general ambient light that ends up being broader than what the light by itself could provide.
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Put duct tape around your water bottle
There is nothing in the world that duct tape won’t fix. That’s why it’s always a good idea to carry a roll with you. But where to store it? You have a ready-made duct tape storage device in any water bottle. Just wrap that sucker up.
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Bucket, milk crate and toilet seat
Another one for the hunting camp or rugged car camping scenario, you can create a makeshift outhouse with a bucket, milk crate and toilet seat. Just cut hole in the bottom of the crate, place it over the bucket and put the toilet seat over that. Then sit and enjoy.
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Carry a wok
Cooking gear is another heavy item that you can likely do without. For an all-in-one utensil try carrying a Chinese cooking wok. This is a great item you can use to sauté, boil water, wash clothes, pan for gold or even wear it as a hat.
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